Workshop Instructor & Domi Dollz Model/Performer
Location: New York City & Chicago
To see Domina Dalia’s feature as Domi Doll of the Month for Oct 2011 click HERE
As a sensual and dominant Alpha woman, it was a labor of love to perfect My true self to come into My own. There is elegance in honing the ability to train through strict control and behavior modifications. I have been training those that are submissive in nature since My teenage years (even when they didn’t recognize it in themselves, I can literally smell it. I feel listless and frustrated when I don’t have balance with lifestyle and play. I am a dichotomy of stereotypical Mother, friend, etc, and can easily slip into a silken corset and catch up on training. I am often asked how I became a Domme. To fully answer that question, I have to dig way back into my psyche and into some of my earliest memories. A Dominant is not a bully or just a bossy woman, instead, intuitively knows what is best for her submissive. I am the embodiment of feminine power.
DD: How, when and where did you get interested in or exposed to the Kink Scene?
D: I was first officially exposed to the kink scene when I was involved in the swinging community about 8 years ago. Given that I am a surprisingly private person, the Domination of males and females in a highly charged and erotic environment left me wanting more. Then, I started going to FWP (foot worship) parties and found that the most submissive foot worshippers got My undivided attention and inspired Me to see what else I could guide them into doing. I was SO excited by every level that I moved through and found that there were very few boundaries.
DD: What do you like most about the Kink Scene? Dislikes?
D: The “community” of those in the scene is a relatively small one. You can go anywhere in the world and find someone that you know or have heard of. There really is a urban family that you get to create for yourself where you don’t have to hide. For the same reasons in that same “community” there is always the rumor mill and often times the squeaky wheel that has started nonsense has never even met You.
DD: Has your life changed after being exposed to the Kink Scene?
D: I started feeling so much more balanced from day one. I am also a Mother, Sister, Daughter, etc so wearing all of these hats tends to be overwhelming if you lose your own personal identity. I was able to be “Me” without taking from other roles but also to have a clearly defined self that was truly all about filling My needs, wants and desires…
DD: Do you feel Kink is getting more mainstream?
D: Blessedly, yes. Its fun to watch fashion, music and media interpret our world. They have the sex factor down but I have yet to see anything other than the movie “Secretary” go into the spiritual and emotional side. Even then, its just one couple’s dynamic. Each D/s relationship is rich in its own way even if it lasts in an increment of a few hours at a time.
DD: How did you hear about Domi Dollz? Opinions?
D: I have been friends with Nina Payne for years and luckily been around to watch the group evolve and grow and couldn’t be more proud to be a part of it.
DD: What is your most favorite Kinky outfit that you love to get dressed up in?
D: Without question it is one of My silk steel boned corsets with a slinky latex knee length skirt, Wolford thigh highs clasped onto a latex garter belt and nothing else. What outfit would be complete without Christian Louboutin shoes…preferably one of My black shiny stilettos or even boots.
DD: Tell us what your most ideal kinky encounter would be?
D: I adore a fun night with a lover that is pretending to be “vanilla” and gets seduced into the scene. It should start early on and involve her or him assisting Me in bathing, oiled massage and dressing before going out for an evening either dancing with friends or the like. We come home and whilst in the elevator, I hand them their collar without words being spoken. I hold onto a lead that will be clasped ever so lovingly around their neck. From there, I will lead them into our room where a night of orders and play involving My extensive accoutrements of pleasure will be utilized fully.
DD: Tell us a little about your so-called “vanilla” life?
D: My daily vanilla life is surprisingly average. I am a Mom that promotes a dichotomy of free thinking and discipline (imagine that). When I can travel, I do and preferably with friends. I am a bibliophile, bondage enthusiast and gardener. My friends and family know as much as they choose to about My involvement in the lifestyle but it is so much more than that. I mix in “kink” moments a few times a week when I can steal time away just to keep the balance.
DD: Anything else you would like to add? Any tips to our readers on how they can get started? Any words to our female audience? To our male audience?
D: I love being a part of the education of vanilla society. There is so much subtext to any D/s dynamic be it intimate or universal. The best way to “get started” is often a Pro Domme or reading books like “Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns” or a bevy of other instructional books. Don’t be afraid to write to your favorite Domina and politely ask questions about the lifestyle. I have trained new Dommes and new subs and find that the best student isn’t afraid to experience both sides. NEVER try dangerous things without instruction and training. The main reason is that if you screw it up, you will miss the pleasure! To the female fans, be you sub or Dominant, don’t be afraid to express yourself because of society norms. You don’t have to present yourself a certain way and maintain that in private. NEVER shut a part of yourself down. Frankly, the same goes to the male audience! There are obviously certain acts and explorations you don’t need to broadcast, just look for a healthy, safe outlet (notice that I didn’t include “sane”). Above all, enjoy yourself and don’t judge.