Memoirs of Payne – The “fast” 10 year old
Memoirs of Payne ~ The “fast” 10 year old
by Ms Nina Payne
I was fifteen when I first had sex, but I always knew that I would lose my virginity before I finished high school. Even before I knew what sex was, I knew I wanted to be doing it.
One time, when I was 10yrs old, I was playing dolls with my best friend Lauren, who happened to be a Mormon and who also happened to teach me what sex really was. I was completely shocked and slightly disappointed when I found out how sex really worked. My young mind thought it had something to do with hurting other people, due to the sounds the man and woman would be making during a sex scene in a movie. They would be grunting and moaning while their faces became twisted in, what I thought was, agony. It always amazed me how somehow the pain they were feeling was a good thing, if you were with the right person.
So once I asked Lauren how old she wanted to be when she had sex for the first time. “I’m not having sex until I get married of course.” She replied.
Wow, this answer never even occurred to me!
“What about you?” Lauren asked.
“16.” I answered
“16?! Why 16?” she asked me half disgusted and half excited.
But I didn’t know why I chose 16. Maybe it was because that’s when it seemed like all the teenagers were doing it in the movies and TV shows I watched as a kid. I always liked the “fast” women in those shows, the slutty girls that no one understood. When all my girlfriends in the neighborhood would get together and watch “Grease,” we’d pick which characters each of us would play along with the film. I always had to play the “goodie two shoes” Sandy because I was blonde, but who I really wanted to play was the naughty and tough brunette “Rizzo.”
All I knew at 10 years old was if I was going to find someone by sixteen to experience this painful thing called sex, I was going to be the one in control of making it happen. There was no way I would let any boy hurt me, I was going to hurt them first. If that made me a slut, so be it.
It’s funny how that first exposure to sex had stayed with me for so much of my life.